Even the Three Moon Shirt Couldn't Save the USA

Wil Wheaton tried his hardest to save the USA today. He wore his three wolf moon with pride and dignity. Unfortunately, Canada still beat the US in Hockey and walked away with the gold.

How I Met Your Step-Dad....

Unfortunately, NPH won't be part of this story...

As promised, here is the story of how I met my husband and the kids' step-father. Be forewarned, this is LONG...

One day, late in 2006, I was browsing through MySpace profiles and happened upon an interesting one. It was a guy that was funny as hell. He wrote about everything and anything, and some of it spoke to me so loudly. He was self-deprecating and sarcastic. Sometimes he was down, but more often than not, he was hysterically funny and spot-on about current events. In other words, I found his writing to be very attractive. He didn't have much of a picture up, though. I believe the only picture that I saw was a picture of him holding a guitar in front of his face. We'll call him "tall guy".

Deciding that introducing myself was a smart idea, I sent him an email. As luck would have it, he was out in Wisconsin visiting some friends and wouldn't get back to me for a few days.

Meanwhile, someone that I had known prior to my failed relationship contacted me out of the blue. We'll call this guy "Geek". I had had one awkward first date with him back in late 2004 or early 2005 before I met the failed relationship guy. He wanted to get to know me, and if we clicked, he wanted to give it another try.

So, "tall guy" gets back from Wisconsin and emails me. Weekly emails turn into daily IMs, and he starts getting interested. Meanwhile, I have started to casually go on dates with "Geek". One day, "tall guy" and I started talking about meeting. However, when I tell him I've been dating "Geek", "tall guy" tells me he's been burned before and won't go out with someone that's dating someone else.

What to do?

It's February, and it's my birthday. I get in to work, and I immediately get an IM from "tall guy" with a big "Happy Birthday". He remembered! That has to mean something, right?

The last date I had with "Geek", "Geek" has asked that we stop seeing other people and concentrate on developing our relationship. We had a date a week, and I didn't want to progress more than that. I agreed, for about a week. On the next date, I told him it was over. I couldn't stop thinking about "tall guy".

On Valentine's Day, "tall guy" asked if "Geek" had sent flowers. I was very non-committal in my answer because I didn't want to tell "tall guy" that I had dumped "Geek". I thought it would be good to put some time between dating "Geek" and seriously considering dating "tall guy". No offense to my husband, but I didn't want him to think the only reason I dumped "Geek" was to date him.

At the beginning of March, a friend had lost her fiance. I immediately went online to "tall guy" to tell him about it. He spent a long time talking to me and comforting me. It was then that I really knew I wanted to get to know him in person. It was a terrible tragedy, and I really only wanted to be with "tall guy".

"Tall guy" invited me to go to a concert with him and a bunch of his friends in June. This was March, and we still hadn't met, in person. We were talking all day every day during the week. During the weekends, I thought of him often. I'm convinced that in this respect, my crush on him was a lot bigger than his crush on me.

Not wanting to go to a show with a virtual stranger and that stranger's friends, I thought it best that we meet. I was hoping there would be chemistry between us, but I was pretty convinced that if nothing else, we would become good friends. Frankly, though, I was also convinced that the crush was a one-way street. I felt a bit foolish, because I started looking forward to Monday mornings when we would chat. I also started dreading Friday afternoons when I would leave work for the day and not hear from "tall guy" until Monday.

I thought he might be married. I thought he might be laughing at me with his friends over the weekend. He used to joke that I was his MySpace stalker, and I felt so so ridiculous for taking such an interest. On the other hand, we had so much in common and clicked so well, that I really wanted to find out whether or not we had chemistry and whether or not he was just messing with me.

We agreed to meet on April 5, 2007, more than 4 months after we started communicating. I know that seems like a long time, and it made me feel like we already knew each other. We met at the Outback and had a great first date. We basically closed down the Outback and went to a sports bar to continue talking.

Things progressed from that first date, although I often felt like I was the one pursuing him. I still often wonder what would have happened if I just let it go. Would we still be together? I kind of doubt it. But then I wonder if that matters at all.

I met his best friend and his best friend's girlfriend at the end of May. We all went to see a movie. I tried to introduce him to my friends, but things kept coming up. I don't remember what, exactly. I think mostly it was due to the fact that my friends were not ever around. One of my friends was moving back to Maryland. Another had moved into a house in southern Massachusetts. Another had lost her fiance and wanted nothing to do with being social or meeting anyone.

I met his family during another significant and sad time. One of his friends lost a child to cancer at the end of June. I met his family at the boy's wake and funeral.

He invited me to his sister's wedding. I met most of the rest of his friends there. At some point in July, I think, he met my parents.

He was scheduled to go to see his friend out in Wisconsin in September. I got to tag along for a week. I got to spend a week with his friend and his friend's wife out in Wisconsin. After that, we went to New York City to see Rush.

Right after the New York trip, I introduced him to the two most important people in my life - my kids. It was around this time that I started to get nervous about the longevity of our relationship. I also remember thinking that his responses to questions about our future were pretty non-committal. Here I was exposing my kids to someone new (again), and I felt incredibly vulnerable doing that. At this point, we'd been together six months and had spent four months prior talking every day. At this point, I felt like I knew him enough to really make a decision about him.

It would be another six months and another tragedy before we both knew.

During all that fall, his uncle, John, would become very ill from his diabetes. Uncle Johnny had spent weeks in the hospital before Christmas because of the illness. On Christmas morning, we almost lost him. He had to have emergency surgery to amputate his leg. Luckily, he survived the surgery.

From that point forward, he was in and out of the hospital and a rehab hospital in Wilmington and Braintree. He came home for a short amount of time, but then was right back in the hospital.

After Christmas, Rob's sister announced she was pregnant. It would be their first child and Rob's parent's first grandchild. Everyone was ecstatic. It was then that I first started feeling like I might want to extend my family with Rob. Prior to that, the thought of having more kids was inconceivable to me.

Right before my birthday, Rob and I decided to move in together sometime that spring. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Rob. If he wasn't sure about marriage as an institution, then it shouldn't matter to me, right? The most important thing was not whether we got married, but whether we were committed to being together for the rest of our lives, wasn't it? By this point, Rob had said he wanted to be with me forever.

We had tickets to see Spam-a-Lot in Boston with Rob's sister and brother-in-law. That day, Uncle Johnny came home. Rob, his brother, and his brother-in-law helped Johnny into the house. After bringing Johnny home, Rob's brother and sister-in-law announced that they, too, would be parents. Johnny was grinning from ear-to-ear with all the good news.

Then came St. Patrick's Day. We all went to Rob's parents house for a good Irish dinner. Afterward, we brought leftovers to Uncle Johnny's house. We got to tell him that we were moving in together and tell him we were going on vacation to Florida that spring. We spent a few minutes with him, and it was clear that he didn't want us to leave.

That was the last time we would see him alive. That Tuesday, I got a panicked call from Rob. He had received a call at work from Uncle Johnny's lifeline call service saying he needed help. I tried to calm Rob down as best I could. I told him to drive safe, but that I would meet him at Uncle Johnny's house. I left work and flew there as fast as I could.

When I got there, Rob's dad, Bob and his brother, John were already there. They let me into the house but told me to stay in the kitchen. Rob showed up a little while later as did John's wife, Mary, and Rob's sister, Lisa. Lisa, Mary, and I went to Rob's parents house to wait it out. I felt very useless that day. I think I was probably more in the way than anything. Rob, Bob, and John needed to wait for the coroner and the ambulance to take Uncle Johnny. He had died in the bathroom when a major artery in his leg had burst open. Apparently it happened in a matter of seconds.

During the arrangements and funeral, I tried not to be in the way. I tried to offer Rob any comfort I could. I was probably more broken up than I should have been over Uncle Johnny's death. He reminded me so much of my Aunt Mary. His disease progression that mimicked hers, and there mannerisms and expressions were so similar. Even his stubbornness about smoking reminded me of her. More than anything, I wanted him to meet my kids and I wanted him to be around to see Lisa's and Mary's babies grow up.

What does this tangent have to do with how Rob and I merged our lives?

It was right after this that Rob told me he wanted to marry me. He proposed the first time without a ring the day we moved into our little duplex. He proposed the next time with a ring on May 20, 2008. He proposed again at the bridge at Epcot center. I said, "Yes", three times.

We were married on May 30, 2009 in a small ceremony at the same church where Uncle Johnny was laid to rest. His family has become my family, and my family has become his family. I love his family very much, and I know he loves mine the same.

From the rocky and uncertain start we had, we have forged a very strong union. I love you, sweetie, with all my heart.

Decade in Review (Stolen without remorse from my husband's blog post)

First night 2000 was spent holed up in the apartment that I shared with my then boyfriend in Kingston, NH. This was not because we were afraid of any of the end of the world disasters that people predicted. We were, however, afraid of the nut-jobs on the street that believed in these predictions. I didn't want to chance getting in the way of someone with a rifle stockpiling food.

The beginning of the year, I was finishing up my associates degree at NH Technical College. Unlike my husband, I searched for a job immediately after graduation instead of going on to a four-year institution. This decision has haunted me somewhat to this day. I found a job in my last semester as a maintenance programmer. One of my professors recommended me. Lilly Software used Centura Team Developer (SQL Windows) as a development platform for creating software. I knew nothing about this language, but I quickly picked it up. It was arcane, and I figured out right away that if I stayed too long at Lilly, my skills would become obsolete.

I studied for the Microsoft Certification exams, and within a couple of weeks had MCP status in both NT 4.0 and VB 6.0. Sure, laugh all you want, but in 2000 that meant something.

My boyfriend at the time recommended me for a development position at his company. I was hired on the spot, and I started a long career at PenChart-turned-Amicore. I was there for around six years. I started out as a junior and ended up leaving while I was senior engineer. I left because Amicore was on shaky financial ground, and I didn't want to chance another round of layoffs. I'm proud to say that I made it through several rounds of layoffs and two acquisitions with them, though.

I learned C# and ASP at Amicore. I also learned DTS packages, become better at SQL, learned how to write an install program with InstallShield and later MSI, learned about automating builds, learned about source control, and learned about process. I went in to Amicore as an amateur developer and I emerged far more experienced.

During my time with Amicore, I got pregnant with my daughter, married my boyfriend, had another son, and divorced that husband. Since I worked with my ex-husband, and I had two kids with him, we both decided it was in the best interest of everyone if we stayed friends. It took a lot of work, and I'm sure there were some days when both of us wanted no part in the friendship, but we're still friends to this day. I'm pretty proud of that, even though most people find it odd that I'm friends with my ex-husband.

After leaving Amicore, I took a job with PC Connection. Here, I enhanced my experience and learned ASP.NET and C# 2.0. I learned the beauty of generics and master pages and CSS. I learned javascript. I learned about session management and enterprise-level computing. Again, I emerged a stronger developer.

I met someone new in 2005. I introduced him to the kids right away. My ex-husband and I had had a deal where we said we weren't going to introduce anyone new to the kids until we'd been together for at least six months. I introduced this guy at three weeks. My ex and I argued about it quite a bit, but he relented.

Ultimately, this guy ended up not being very nice and not treating me the way I deserved to be treated. He was never violent or anything like that. He was decent with the kids. He and I just didn't mesh well. In other words, my issues completely collided with his issues, and in the end, we went our separate ways. This was one of the first times in my life I did what I should have done WHEN I should have done it. Typically in the past, I'd have stayed because it was comfortable, even if the relationship wasn't good.

I learned a lot of lessons from that failed relationship. The most important lesson was that waiting six months before introducing someone to the kids just made sense. I didn't know the guy long enough or well enough to make the judgment call to introduce him.

For a while after that, I concentrated on being a better mother and being a better friend. I stopped looking for "The One" and I started to just enjoy being by myself. I started looking forward to coming home from work and reading. I started looking forward to quiet nights playing computer games. I was also working a lot at PC Connection, and I was enjoying that immensely.

In 2006, I met my husband and the love of my life. That story is too long for this blog, but rest assured, dear readers, there will be a post about it.

We were married in 2009. It's been quite an adventure, and it's only just the beginning!

Sylvester Stabone

Andrew Koenig committed suicide the other day. His body was found in a park in Vancouver. My thoughts and prayers go out to his loved ones at this very difficult time.

Not long ago, I had a very good friend that lost someone close due to suicide. Because I'm not sure how best to console someone that has suffered such a loss, our friendship suffered inexorably.

I knew the person that committed suicide pretty well, although I wouldn't say we were very close. I used to hang out with both of them occassionally. Although we weren't friends, I did feel saddened and dejected by the loss of a great human being.

It's been years since this tragedy has happened. I know my friend went through years of sadness over her loss. I know she'll never really be over it. I think of her and her loss often, still. However infrequently we talk these days, I am always wishing her peace and a lifetime of happiness. She is truly a vibrant individual, and she deserves so much more than this tragedy has dealt her.

I can only imagine that Walter Koenig and his wife, Judy, are going through similar emotions and feelings right now. My heart goes out to them during this time.

Andrew Koenig was best known for his role in Growing Pains as Mike Seaver's best friend, Boner. I remember two episodes with him best.

In the first episode, Boner, Mike, and a third friend (whose name I don't recall) went to a party in high school. The party involved a hot tub and cocaine. I remember Boner and the random red-shirt friend trying to talk Mike Seaver into using Coke in order to spend time with some girls. Mike eventually did the right thing; we all knew he would. At the end of that episode, Kirk Cameron gave a heart-felt "say-no-to-drugs" speech.

In the second episode, Boner joined the army to make his dad proud. His dad was played by the guy that played Carla Tortelli's husband on Cheers. I don't remember the actor's name. I think it was in this episode that we learned Boner's real name was Sylvester Stabone. For a twelve-year old watching the show, the nickname finally made sense. A few years later, the nickname meant a whole other thing entirely.

If anyone is reading this and feels the kind of desperation that Andrew Koenig or my friend felt, please seek help. There is always a way, and it's always better than the alternative. There are a ton of people in your life that would be more than willing to help and support you. Whether you realize it or not, there are a ton of people that will be affected by your decision for years to come.

White Trash, anyone?

Drunk mom allegedly runs through school with sword - Boston.com

Drunk mom allegedly runs through school with sword - Boston.com

Posted using ShareThis

Did her kid lose the spitting match? Inquiring minds want to know!

Slowest Blog Ever?

Have I created the slowest loading page ever? I don't know. I do know that I stumbled upon these YouTube videos and they are brilliant.

I want to post all the ones I have found of Lego Beatles. The Beatles have been blockified! It's awesome! Since I have slowed my page to a crawl, I'll simply post a link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWdKsyFNVCU

Look at all the related Beatles Lego videos if you have the time. It's absolegoly worth it.

Ouch! Now that's a bad pun.

Seriously Impressive

Kermit Sullivan?

I don't know whether to laugh or be creeped out

Ringo said, "No"!

The muppets: brilliant!

Salem Blue Devils Percussion Ensemble

The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!

See Rob's blog for a brief discussion on tonight's adventures in commuting. Otherwise, read on for some fascinating pointless drivel.

We were discussing movies tonight. Specifically, the conversation started when Rob very dramatically, as he is wont to do, proclaimed, "if you like it, then you had better put a ring on it." My daughter, who is 8, asked Rob why he said it "so officially". Rob explained that in the 60s, Peter Sellers had recited an entire Beatles album, dramatically. I would daresay melodramatically, even, based on Rob's description.

After that, Rob explained that Peter Sellers was in the original Pink Panther movies. Both of my kids have seen the remake of the Pink Panther with Steve Martin. Naturally, the topic turned to Steve Martin.

My comic genius of a husband has never seen The Jerk or Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. I can hardly believe it. This is the man that introduced me to such fine classics as Zoolander and Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. How could he not have seen The Jerk? It is now my mission to rectify that as soon as possible.

However, this is our weekend with the kids. Since The Jerk isn't really family-friendly, I think our viewing will have to wait until at least Monday night.

Two movies we both want to see are the new Kevin Smith movie with Bruce Willis and Hot Tub Time Machine. I'm looking forward to Hot Tub Time Machine. It has John Cusack, Crispin Glover, and Chevy Chase. What could be better than that?

I think the poor kids were so lost with our conversation.

I'll leave you all with the following fascinating quote from The Jerk:

"I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days."

Exciting, isn't it?

I can haz technorati?

F8T3MUD7HBXH

Renewed Motivation?

Let me start this by emphasizing that I'm not intentionally being down on myself. This is not aimed to be self-deprecating or sarcastic. I know how lucky I am, and I'm not trying to down-play that. This is not about self-pity, and I'm not asking for anyone else's pity, either. This is an honest look at one part of my life that I am unhappy with.

So the thought has crossed my mind recently that I really need to do something about my ever-expanding waistline. I don't like the way I feel. I don't like the way I look in clothes. I don't like the way my clothes fit. Nothing seems to fit me right. Nothing looks good. I'm uncomfortable even sitting in jeans.

When I think about having a baby and being pregnant, I truly wonder if that is a smart idea at my weight.

And every once in a while, I think how much easier it was for me to lose weight when I was smoking. No, I won't go back to smoking again. I'm in no danger of renewing any of my old habits, including going dancing a few times a week. However, if truth be told, it was a hell of LOT easier to lose weight when I spent my free nights standing and dancing for three to four hours.

Rob and I went to the casino last weekend. It was the first time that I've gotten dressed up when I haven't felt like a million bucks. I know I've always been big, but I've always felt pretty until last weekend. Last weekend, I just felt fat. That is not a good feeling.

The thing is, I've done this before. I've lost 50+ pounds on two other occassions in my life. Both previous times, I spent a lot of my time working out. Both previous times, I felt so much better. I felt better about myself. I had more self-esteem. I felt better in my clothes. And I know I looked fantastic. Those SHOULD be some pretty big motivators. So why haven't they been?

Lately, I've been thinking about that a lot. Is it because I know Rob loves me no matter what? Is it because I haven't felt a NEED to lose weight? Is it because Rob has always made me feel beautiful and is the least judgemental and most supportive person I've ever met? I think the answer is yes. I think the answer is that I don't feel like I need the approval of someone I love in order to motivate me into losing weight. I think that's a double-edged sword. I couldn't be happier that Rob is like that. I couldn't be happier that Rob looks at me and sees beauty. However, it does mean that I have to motivate myself to do something about this. Rob can be there, and he can be supportive (I know he will be ---- Hi, sweetie!). But what is that saying? You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink? This is all on me.

Everything else in my life is exactly right. Everything else is my life is better than I could ever have imagined. I'm living a life that is better than any of my fantasies. I'd wager a bet that I'm living a life that is better than most people's fantasies.

To that end, I've decided (once again) that I need to do something about it. An article on CNN got me thinking about an old membership I had to sparkpeople.com. I'm going to attempt to give this another whirl.

My short-term goal is 5 pounds. I can't look beyond that right now.

Wish me lots of luck and oodles of motivation.

Tufts American Idol Admission Process

From a Boston.com story: Tufts admissions videos - Boston.com



So now in order to get into college, you not only need to be able to prove academic competency with grades and SAT scores, you also need to prove you're creative. Tell me this doesn't reek of Survivor and American Idol. Tell me that Tufts is going to admit the 300 pound geek with the 4.0 GPA that isn't equally creative and photogenic. Tell me this isn't a lawsuit waiting to happen.

The end of the internet?

I may have exhausted my internet browsing addiction. I have looked at every conceivable thing online. This afternoon, I spent time with my husband looking at Funny or Die. We watched videos of reactions to a very disturbing video online. I have not seen this video myself, but I understand it puts South Park's Cartman's mom jokes to shame. I also spent time watching cute cat videos. I also refreshed facebook at least a dozen times, in hopes of new status updates.

I have finally reached internet boredom.

I can haz ice cream?

Please?

Waaaaah..... or why does the weekend have to be over?

This weekend was fantastic. I got to gamble a little at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut on Friday. This was a spur of the moment trip inspired by my in-laws on Friday morning. Rob and I drove down there in the afternoon. I spent a couple of hours playing black jack, and I ended up ahead a little. Rob spent his time alternating between keeping me company and playing slots. He was also up a little. We ate dinner at Lucky's. I have to say that I haven't seen so many corsets worn on the outside since 1984.

John Mayer was playing at the casino on Friday night. We thought about going, but then we passed a bunch of thirteen year olds in the hall outside one of the ladies' rooms. I am seriously considering locking Bellana in her room once she turns twelve.

Saturday was spent doing some light errands and putting some more time in toward our little development project.

Today was spent almost entirely on development. We did take some time out to flake, but we put in a good days work on our project. I can now proudly say we can save a record to a database, search for records, and edit an existing record. I think it's architecturally sound, as well. I'm proud of Rob, but I don't know if I'm actually teaching him anything.

Now we're watching the US vs Canada hockey game. I don't remember the Miracle game from 1980, but I have a feeling we'll all soon be watching the movie. The background song that is playing is "Twist and Shout". Everything comes back to The Beatles.

This long weekend went by way too fast.

Inaugural Address

Why aren't I funny anymore?

I used to be funny. I used to be able to rattle off some serious one-liners at a moments notice. These days? Not so much. I don't know when or how I lost my edge. I have been trying to will it back for some time, to no avail. It's almost as if the harder I try, the less funny I become. The same can be said of any fledgling creative and writing ability I once possessed. Hell, I wrote a novel that I actually submitted for publication a few years ago. True, it was a cliched-filled cavity-inducing romance the likes of which would have made Danielle Steele proud. Okay, maybe not Steele herself, but certainly her pool boy. I bet even Fabio would have liked it.

Lately, it seems, I can barely utter a sentence without the word Like making its sneaky little way into every, oh, 3rd or 4th word. Since when did I become an air-head? Since when have I surfed? I am better than this "Like" horseshit. I suppose I can rationalize it as compensating for a definite tendency toward geekishness and bookwormary. I can make excuses all day long for the disturbing lack of original thought and vocabulary. Sure, everyone uses "Like" from time-to-time. But, like, when did I start sounding like I'm from California? Dude, like, seriously. This has become especially apparent at work. When I'm trying to, like, describe a problem to one of my fellow Engineers, I use the word "Like" incessantly. I'm not stupid, but I often feel as if I must come across that way to these people.

That's not the worst of it. The worst of it is that I can't seem to write anymore. All of my energy is wasted trying to think about ideas for a story. The pros tell you to write everyday. What if all you see when you look at the paper is a sea of nothingness? What are you supposed to write about? How are you supposed to write something when you can't think of anything? Just like the humor situation, the more I try, the more of a brick wall I face.

Oh well, the world has moved on, says Stephen King. I'm afraid I may have moved on from these traits as well. I'm afraid I no longer have the creative energy and vitality I once had. I'm afraid that most of the things I write about it are vapid.

Do I envy the confident, pretentious, arrogant writers that sit around at Harbucks all day making sure all and sundry are aware that they are writing a great work of art? Do I envy the beat poets and the stream-of-consciousness Kerouac wannabes in the world? Do I pick up novels by any of the great American writers of the last century and feel a twinge of jealous? Nope. Not. At. All. Well, maybe a little. Maybe, for one small moment, I would like someone to grab a book I wrote and be swept away. So, now matter how futile the effort (or the resistance), I will keep trying.

I tried really hard to turn that into a borg joke. Get it? No. See? I will end on that colossal bad pun fail.